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What is the Best Way to Help your Child?

Comments. Opinions. Decisions. Oh my! There is so much to think about when it comes to your child’s best interests.  Much information abounds on the internet; and professional help is always an option, plus family and friends have lots of insight to share. But ultimately you’re looking for what is the best way to help your child right?

“Nope. That won’t work; my mom tried that with me when I was his age.” “No, my friend told me that they didn’t help at all with her son and it was a waste of time.” “No. A couple other families told me that their daughters didn’t get any benefit from that at all.” Do any of these comments seem relatable? Have you heard any before? Have you stated any yourself?

How about one of these? “My friend’s son is the same age and they did XYZ for nearly 2 years with absolutely no improvement.” “This mom from my kid’s soccer club told me to go have my daughter checked for ABC because their child had the same symptoms and they get all sorts of help now.” Does anything stand out to you?

As a local advocate, I have seen my fair share of insurmountable obstacles and emotional reactions from adult to child alike. I have also been witness to incredibly dramatic and impactful, positive outcomes as well; some even other-worldly and almost what some would be deemed miraculous. Wrapped up in all of this emotional reactivity with scores of supports that one can contemplate, what bothers me the most is to bear witness to a child being generalized. As if the child were wearing a stark white t-shirt with ‘’KID” slapped on the front. While that may seem a wee-bit harsh, I want to impart a visual that conceptualizes what I see.

Why does this bother me? Well, this starts many years ago, back to my college days in the medical library. During one of my undergrad classes, we did a journal review that focused on sets of identical twins and studies based on learning, perception and identities. Since that time and in repeat studies what has been well documented is that twins have separate and distinct ways that they each individually learn. It has been concluded that twins perceive the world around them in different ways, pattern that information differently, and learn distinctly differently. So, thinking back to the “KID” emblazoned t-shirt, if identical twins perceive their world entirely different than the other twin, doesn’t it stand to reason that each and every single one of us perceives our world different? Different from our family members, our friends, our colleagues, our neighbors, our soccer families and strangers that we meet? So why would it be plausible to expect exactly the same results and experiences for ourselves, our families, and our children when compared to someone else? Let’s take that “KID” shirt off of the child that we seek support for.

That initial string of comments that are listed at the very beginning of this post, that was taken from one interaction that I had with a single parent. This particular person was desperate for intervention and wanted to try whatever was available to help a young boy who struggled with multiple issues that hindered his learning. Despite the list of things to ponder and research, no options were considered. What was so interesting to me was that the rationale was based SOLELY on someone else’s experiences. Please don’t take this to mean that the opinion of another is not worthy. In many cases it is – especially in instances of fraud or miscommunication. What I ask of those that I work with is that it be recognized it for what it is. An opinion. I encourage the sharing of a “thank you’’ with the person sharing the information, while at the same time still being open to considering the opportunity for your own child and family. Just because something may not have been of great benefit to someone you know does not mean that it cannot be of benefit for you and your child. Take that “KID” t-shirt off your child. Remember, we are all unique.

Written by Heather Lascano

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The information provided in this site is intended for general informational purposes only. It is not a substitute for medical advice and is not intended to provide complete medical information. KidsMisdiagnosed, Inc does not offer personalized medical diagnosis of patient-specific treatment advice. All medical information presented should be discussed with your healthcare professional. Remember, the failure to seek timely medical advice can have serious ramifications. KidsMisdiagnosed, Inc urges you to discuss any current health related problems you or your child are experiencing with a healthcare professional immediately.